Process of Healing

When the world around me is silent I contemplate on all my past relationships. Some make me smile and other I fill my shot glass to and hope that the burn it causes in my chest will keep my tears away. Look…we all make mistakes…sometimes we take all the wrong treatment knowing its all wrong …just unsure how to put an end to the pain.

Believe me when I say you’re not alone. You’re not alone in your attempt to hold on to the dream. The dream of happiness with the wrong person or what you thought was meant for you and him/her. What’s obvious is not always what’s easy to do. At some point the “table” becomes set and your only dining partner is Reality. So I encourage you to sit at the “table” with Reality and let’s get real. As IB (@InspirationBeauty) says “let’s talk about it.”

First understand that this is a process. Yes…overcoming is a process. Even rainbows go through a process before they are created. I encourage you to go through this process with me. I hear your groans and I even see your screwed up face and I know you are wondering where I am going and how I can relate to you. All I will say is…no scratch that…all I will plead is that you hear me out and believe that I need you in this process as much as you may need another person.

Reality told me that before I can heal there are something’s that I must understand before I can move forward and I urge you to ride with me.

·         Understand that you must first  forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for the things you allowed, the things you knew about and the things you didn’t. Forgive yourself for allowing another person to ignore how unique and how special you are. Sometimes our biggest enemy is ourselves. Forgive and never forget. Use this experience as a tool to remind you of what you will never tolerate again. You deserve the best because you always give your best. If God can forgive you then you are allowed to forgive yourself.

·         Understand that all that has happened does not define the man/woman you are today. Everyone is capable of reform and change. God realizes this and that is exactly why you can turn the page and read a new chapter.

·         Understand that all the “shoulda coulda woulda’ves” are just a distraction. They are a distraction from you pushing forward and living the life you are intended to live. If you must, look at all the maybes, shoulda, coulda, would’ves, pray, and meditate on them and then move on because they do not represent the person you  are today.

·         Acknowledge all that has happened. The role you played in being hurt. People don’t do things to us that we don’t allow them to do to us. So yes, I am here to be in your face and say “We played a role in all our own hurt.”

      ·         Understand that at this point you need others. Its time to take that funky robe off, get off the couch, and put the Ben and Jerry’s (or Jack Daniels) back in the freezer…close the cap…and dial a friend.You are not alone so let go of that ideal. There is someone willing to listen while you let it all out.

     ·         Understand that you must push forward…PUSH…PUSH…PUSH FORWARD. Healing hurt is not a process that will happen overnight so be patient with yourself. If you must make a list…make one…Tell yourself everyday OUT LOUD...”I love me…I am beautiful…and I deserve genuine love.” Say “I am love therefore I deserve all the love the Universe has for me…It’s mine and today I claim it…RIGHT NOW AND FOREVER.” Yes it’s corny and yes you may need to say it several times but this is how you will start your day and what you will recite throughout the day.

A wise person once told me “you can fall in and out of love but you can’t fall out of understanding.” I hope my understanding is one you can fall into and I thank you for taking this journey with me. You’ll see me soon and I’ll greet you with all my love and understanding. UNDERSTAND WE ARE BEAUTY FROM THE INSIDE OUT and that’s an understanding I love to fall in understanding with. 

Much Luv,

Amy "@PagesOfVision" Ward